"I'm going you be honest with you, the egg didnt take...
So we have 3 options... 2 more rounds of artificial insemination, invitro, or adoption... I know you want a child of your own but ONLY by a miracle and Grace of god will you have one."
As im sitting in the doctors office hearing what i'd known for a long time, it was rather refreshing yet earth shattering.
Refreshing in a sense that this doctor wasn't going to toy around with our emotions and was being honest.
Earthshattering in that moment all my dreams of becoming a mother were faced with reality... It mayet NEVER happen.
I sat there, and so many of my choices and lifestyle decicions went through my brain.. I hated myself at that moment.
Was I being punished?
Are my husband and I not right for eachother?
Did I do this to myself - anorexia, bulemiah, drugs, alcohol, rape, overuse of painkillers?
Why me, Why us?
Then, I looked up and realized it was because I had lost myself and my faith for the last few years. I needed to restore my faith and become who I was destined to be.
As I sit here today at 27 years old its hard for me to look back at my life and imagine how my experiences have made me how I am now.
I have an amazing husband, am a liscenced foster parent and have had 7 kids in 2 years, working on adopting our first child, developed a program for at risk youth, donated time and money (even when I didnt have any) to numerous oranizations and youth programs, and I never put myself first.
It seems like I maybe have had the perfect chidhood looking at who you know me as today, but I didn't.
I once fought faith, lost hope but then I overcame and perservered with the hope to inspire.
So we have 3 options... 2 more rounds of artificial insemination, invitro, or adoption... I know you want a child of your own but ONLY by a miracle and Grace of god will you have one."
As im sitting in the doctors office hearing what i'd known for a long time, it was rather refreshing yet earth shattering.
Refreshing in a sense that this doctor wasn't going to toy around with our emotions and was being honest.
Earthshattering in that moment all my dreams of becoming a mother were faced with reality... It mayet NEVER happen.
I sat there, and so many of my choices and lifestyle decicions went through my brain.. I hated myself at that moment.
Was I being punished?
Are my husband and I not right for eachother?
Did I do this to myself - anorexia, bulemiah, drugs, alcohol, rape, overuse of painkillers?
Why me, Why us?
Then, I looked up and realized it was because I had lost myself and my faith for the last few years. I needed to restore my faith and become who I was destined to be.
As I sit here today at 27 years old its hard for me to look back at my life and imagine how my experiences have made me how I am now.
I have an amazing husband, am a liscenced foster parent and have had 7 kids in 2 years, working on adopting our first child, developed a program for at risk youth, donated time and money (even when I didnt have any) to numerous oranizations and youth programs, and I never put myself first.
It seems like I maybe have had the perfect chidhood looking at who you know me as today, but I didn't.
I once fought faith, lost hope but then I overcame and perservered with the hope to inspire.